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Title: Scenes From A Coffee Shop.
Fandom: NEXTWAVE! [comic].
Rating: R for extensive innuendo.
Genre: Humour, crack, romance (ish).
Summary: Aaron, somewhat changed, and Elsa, entirely the same, meet again.
Warnings: Genderswitch (though it's canon), lots of innuendo, some not-very-exciting wanking, subtle pro-lesbian propaganda (points to you if you can spot it!).
Pairings/Characters: Elsa Bloodstone/ladybits!Aaron Stack.
Author's Note: Happy birthday, expletives! I hope you enjoy this, even though it's weird as hell. Incidentally, my intention was to write this in a noir style. I failed pretty hard, but I guess the result could be way worse.
Disclaimer: NEXTWAVE! is the property of Marvel, Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and Wade von Grawwwwwwbadger. I'm just raping the characters for my own pleasure. Mm, rape.

It's a long story, fleshy. And it's really best told with hands-on demonstrations.Collapse )
21 July 2008 @ 09:02
Title: Non Chalant.
Fandom: Death Note [manga].
Rating: PG.
Genre: Humour, crack, Mattofluff.
Summary: Matt finds a puppy under mysterious circumstances. Near is intrigued. Mello is secretive.
Warnings: Excessive adorableness and possible OOC-Matto-ness (but then, it's rather hard to tell with him.)
Pairings/Characters: Near, Matt, Mello, Roger.
Author's Note: Wammy's house crack/fluff for darthmokona, who's having a rough time of it lately. Sorry this is so much later than I promise, m'dear - I'm having a lot of writer's block issues right now, but hopefully this doesn't suck too hard. <3 Thanks to Twitch for teaching me about languagey things in general and specifically for providing me with a complicated equation for Matt to get wrong and most of all for coming up with something approaching an actual plot for this ridiculousness. Thx bb~.
Disclaimer: Death Note is the property of Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. I merely nibble it occasionally to supply the writing dragon within. 8U 'Carmen' belongs to Bizet. 'Chopsticks' probably belongs to the devil.

If anyone in the world could be said to be chalant, it would be Matt at this moment.Collapse )
Madness level: exhaustedreal frickin' tired
14 June 2008 @ 00:59
Title: Suerte.
Fandom: Runaways [comic].
Rating: R for vague sexual activity.
Genre: Angst, romance, smutfic.
Summary: Xavin wants what sie thinks Karolina doesn't want, but Karolina actually does want it, which of course leads to puddles and puddles of angst.
Warnings: Femslash, genderbending (it is Xavin), vague lesbosex.
Pairings/Characters: Karolina/Xavin, mentions of Nico (euw).
Author's Note: This pretends to have a plot, but it's lying. For yuri_challenge, Round 1, 2008. I wanted this to be super-smutty, but then I a) realised it's not allowed for the under-18s and b) ran out of time, so now it's just angsty and ridiculous and is titled after a Shakira song. Sorry, requester-person, hope it's all right anyhow. Thanks as always to Twitch for the epic beta and title and . . . things.

I relinquish my control to the bright night and whisper in her ear that I am who I am not.Collapse )
Title: The Good Ship Lesbian.
Fandom: !NEXTWAVE! [comic].
Rating: PG-13.
Genre: Crack, humour.
Summary: Elsa gets on people's tits.
Warnings: Femslash (that's really more an advertisement than anything), ridiculousness.
Pairings/Characters: Elsa Bloodstone/Monica Rambeau, a mention of Elsa/Elsa (can I has tripod?), Aaron Stack (who needs one), The Captain.
Author's Note: Written for yuri_challenge, Round 1, 2008. Wrote it halfway, realized it was shit, started over with a new idea. Was late, consequently. But really, what can be done? I appear to have a disconcerting penchant for first-person narration in stories where hot chicks get nailed by hot chicks. Elsa talks like Glen Duncan's Lucifer, for which I apologise (but not very much). Thanks as always to Twitch for the epic beta.

'Aaron, for god's sakes, get a tripod!'Collapse )
28 May 2008 @ 23:33
Title: Cut, Bleed, Repeat.
Fandom: Bleach [manga].
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: Angst, drama, romance, smutfic.
Summary: Prompt: "Blood red and the spaces between words." Ishida Uryuu heals, with help.
Warnings: Yaoi, spoilers, cursing, masturbation, graphic/rough sex. Also inaccurate astronomy.
Pairings: Kurosaki Ichigo/Ishida Uryuu.
Author's Note: Birthday giftfic for technovanilla. Aye, I kinda took your prompt and ran cackling away with it, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Happy birthday, darling! I don't think this is particularly original, but you never know. Thanks as always to twitchdemon for epic beta. Have my babies. <3 (I just realized this is my first NC-17 mansex. Holy shit. I'm not a virgin anymore! 8U)

Set, aim, release, repeat.Collapse )
Title: Clank. Clank. Clank.
Fandom: Death Note [manga].
Rating: NC-17 (ish?).
Genre: Crack, smutfic.
Summary: What the hell is Ryuuzaki doing?
Warnings: Porn & ridiculousness.
Pairings: Light Yagami/L, Light Yagami/himself.
Author's Note: twitchdemon said, "NOBODY HAS EVER MADE THE 'CLANK. CLANK. CLANK' 'WHAT ARE YOU- OH GOD.' FIC I WANT." She had a bad day. I made her a present. I have to repay her for the happy poos somehow. Enjoy, love!

'Ryuuzaki!' Light slammed the lid of his laptop closed and whirled in his chair to face the detective. 'What in heaven's name are you OH MY GOD.'Collapse )
23 April 2008 @ 12:51
Title: The Fiery Furnace
Fandom: Good Omens [novel].
Rating: PG-13.
Genre: Historical fiction, drama.
Summary: Prompt: “A/C, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, dates.” Regional, religious, and personal tensions are played out between Aziraphale and Crowley in the Gardens of Babylon.
Warnings: Ancient Babylonians having sex.
Pairings/Characters: Crowley/Aziraphale.
Author's Note: Written for argyleheir in the Good Omens Exchange. (Original post is here.) Thanks to my fabulous beta, who is eternally patient and godlike and a genius (not to mention sexy). The inevitable historical or other errors are my fault, definitely not hers.

The king's man catches up with Aziraphale as he walks his worn path atop the Garden wall. . . .Collapse )
Madness level: frustratedfrustrated
23 April 2008 @ 12:05
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. I haven't posted any stories here since September?! Well, that's gonna have to change. I'm setting up a daily writing time for myself, and come hell or high water I will STICK TO IT.

Now then. Enjoy your crazy Nay-roo-toos.

Title: Cookies & Cream.
Fandom: Naruto [manga].
Rating: PG-13 for a couple of curses.
Genre: Fluff, humor (except for the end).
Summary: Written for taito_kisses's birthday . . . which was in September. EPIC FAIL, ME. Although, in fairness, it was a hard prompt, I still feel awful. So, well, have a Gai & Kurenai friendfic! And somebody for god's sakes tell me where I can cross-post this, 'cause I have no idea. Gai community? Something?
Warnings: Spoilers.
Pairings/Characters: Maito Gai, Yuhi Kurenai, and a busty nurse.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto's. I'm not him.

The sun beat down on Kurenai like it had a score to settle.Collapse )
Madness level: accomplishedaccomplished
18 March 2008 @ 00:08
Extended hiatus due to school, sexy time, and mononucleosis is now motherfucking OVER. The ideas that I have are begging to be culled. Help me in this endeavour by clicking below, lovely ones.

25 September 2007 @ 13:54
Title: The Art Of Love.
Fandom: Naruto [manga].
Rating: R.
Genre: Angst. Full of annnnnngst. But with a happy ending. So kinda epic fail angst.
Summary: Prompt: "There were certain unchangeable rules for Team 10: Ino was the one who went out and got the good stuff. Chouji was the one who went out and got the bad stuff. Shikamaru was the one who stayed, and got only what came to him."
Warnings: Grievous spoilers, masturbation, and mentions of promiscuity.
Pairings/Characters: Shikamaru/Chouji, Ino/Chouji, Temari/Shikamaru, Temari/Ino. Lol, dat's a lots.
Author's Note: Written for joyful at shikachouji--hope you like it! Thanks to Twitch, who epic-beta'd this twice for me (even the horrible parts that I wrote at 2 AM while full of mould spores); and to Thad, who helped me work out some plot kinks (Thad relieves many of my kinks) (ooh, did you catch that? A treble entendre at least. Man, I'm good).
Disclaimer: Not mine. I've checked.

The essence of romance for ninja, as they had learned in their special boys-only class at the academy, was that it, by and large, does not exist.Collapse )
Madness level: irritatedirritated
The people in my head are singing: Goodbye To You -- Michelle Branch (why yes, yes I am a pansy)